Term 4 Written Language

WALT write a character description of a person we know very well.

We know we have achieved this when we …

-    have written about the person’s physical appearance (the way they look).

-    have written about the person’s behaviour (how they speak or act).

-    have written about how they affect other people (what do they do to make you notice them).

-    have written about the person’s environment and belongings.

-    used descriptive words to make a picture in the mind of the reader

My Dad by Harry Eastwick

My dad is called Craig. He has short brown hair, which is like candyfloss. He wears old clothes because they have glue and silicon on them. He has greeny-brown eyes. He is very funny. His favourite game to play is Pop. He sometimes plays his guitar. We live at 112 Wales Street, in Halswell. He is a tiler and has a van with tiles in there. He works with Franklin Tiling. He loves going on the computer. If someone is on it he just tells us to get off or watch TV.

Feedback:

You have begun a good description and used some describing words and similes but need to tell a little more to get a picture in the reader’s mind.

Next Steps:

1.    Add more details to show what your Dad looks like. How tall is he? You could use a simile to show this.

2.   Check the WALT criteria to see if you have included all you need in your writing.